Skyrim is filled with stories. There are those that are plotted out, and those that just happen when game systems interact with each other- like my fight against two dragons, two giants, and a few massive mammoths, or my lovely wedding with a nordic werewolf with a heart of gold and his two-handed sword. Enough people have told you about Skyrim, and if you're not playing, I probably can't convince you, but the thing that made me want to quit the game, then applaud the game, then fix the game, then sink into a guilty spiral of recrimination and shame, and then applaud the game was this- I was accountable for the atrocities I committed.
I started with the best of intentions, the big, bad Imperials were destroying the Nordic way of life, writing over their culture with their own, even refusing to allow them to acknowledge their god, the one human who had achieved it. Outrageous! I was not a Nord, but I had been set up for execution by the Imperials and witnessed the execution of more than a few of the rebel Stormcloaks. I don't like execution. I decided to stick it to the man, or stick it on or in and all around The Man, that dirty, filthy, horrible man. Sorry.
I joined up with the Stormcloaks, my first mission for them was simple, to deliver an axe, my second task to return said axe. By then I was somehow suckered in and committed. I could have chosen to stop there, and I should have. As a gamer I am programmed to complete all tasks and get the big final reward. I am conditioned to believe my side will be the right side unless I am given the red dialogue choices that say things like, "Burn, burn, all of you burn. Bring me a kitten to kick!" Since that didn't happen I believed myself righteous, and if it weren't immediately obvious it would become so at the end. Isn't that how how revolutions go? And anyway, when I complete a game it is COMPLETE, every sidequest finished. Every One.
My next task was to sack the city of Whiterun. The first city I encountered. I recognized the guards and they praised me and commented on my weapon prowess whenever we passed. I helped the Jarlm Balgrouf the Greater, and met his wizard, Sarengard Secret-Fire, who was a bit dorky, but sweet. I helped Dannica Purespring, a priestess of Kynrath, revitalize the tree at the center of the city, it's heart and inspiration. I had a little crush on Ulfbark war-Bear (married to the female blacksmith, stupid girl), and helped Ysolda become a real merchant. I met or knew every citizen in the city and then it was on fire and I was killing the guardsmen. The city was on fire, and I wanted to stop, but I was already in the middle of it. We managed to get the Jarl to concede rulership, but the city was scarred and as I walked done the pitted streets I felt guilty.
I could've stopped there. I didn't. It didn't get better. The soldiers I worked with were not monsters, they believed in their cause, but I was an outsider, a Breton not a Nord. I won't recount all that happened, but racism appeared on my side, they wanted purity, if I had listened better I might have heard this before, when I did it was too late. I served a leader I didn't trust or respect, and didn't give a shit about me. I was a tool. When he asked if I wanted the honor to execute the Imperial Legion's leader I refused, an ineffectual and pointless method to show my disapproval. I also refused to be celebrated by him in front of the troops.
I spent 56 hours on this character. I created him. I saw the world through his eyes. I wrote his story myself, and when the rebellion ended and I saw what I'd done, thought on the misery I'd caused and the misery to come I couldn't play him anymore. I had to start again. Let me point out again, Ulfric Stormcloak, the leader I put in power is not a moustache-twirling monster. The game did not tell me I was a bad person- I felt that. The cities I sacked were not immediately rebuilt and the people did not return to how they'd been.
The game did set me up a bit, aiming me at the rebellion, introducing to sympathetic characters who were part of it or who had been hurt by the imperials, but it was always my choice to continue or to find out more. SO when people speak of the scope of Skyrim, the freedom of playing in your own style, the amazement of exploration compelling quest after compelling quest, to me this is their greatest achievement I've seen done only once before in Bioshock 2, they made me accountable for my choices without them hitting me over the head with only very right or very wrong choices.
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