Thursday, July 7, 2011

You want funny?


Fruit fucking (like actual fruit, not the kind you're used to, whore).

Garden implements of destruction.

Randy robots.

Elephant testicles.

This game has it all. I have where EVERYTHING was funny until I played Penny Arcade:On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness by Hothead games. Hopefully you've read the Penny Arcade comics at http://www.penny-arcade.com/, hopefully you're going to PAX this summer (cuz I'l be there, but if you haven't do it now. I'll be here when you get back.

Now go to PSN or Xbox Live and download chapter one. Yeah, it's $15, but it is worth it. It's an RPG adventure game in a steam punk-y past. The art style is arresting and dynamic, the dialogue is hilarious, and the story engaging. It's been out since October of 2008, so you have to search a bit, but it is all around enjoyable.

There is a giant robot penis and you have to fight it. Need I say more?

Friday, July 1, 2011

A Game of Dicks the final chapter

This is the final part of the riveting epic that began with the story of Garcia Hotspur and his boner. The previous two sections are below, so you might want to check them out.

Hotspur is driven by his desire, but doesn't understand it. He is led through his sexual fantasy levels by his boner, but even these levels are murky, the demons he is ejaculating hot death into are sexless and naked, most often with male frames, sometimes with female frames and missing their abdomens (read women as sex objects the procreating part missing- the uterus where the baby would gestate). The levels themselves are sexual fantasy with a frightening veneer which, like everything else in the game, obscures the sexual part. Darkness is Garcia's unbeatable foe, and his boner lights the way. Garcia can not define himself or his world without his cock as reference. Paula, his "girlfriend," is only sex object, and a very stylized one at that, she is the model of a perfect woman, innocent-looking and slutty, helpless and dangerous, simple and mysterious, silent and blank, she is relegated to calling out Garcia's name (as one would during sex) and wondering why he can do nothing to save her and why he lets her keep on dying. So what is dying? Is it the woman Hotspur has no way of relating to outside of sex? is it Hotspur's desire which ends with each climax? Is it the fact that Garcia is not into women at all, but feels obligated to be the macho lady killer with the most ladiest lady? Add to this that she is unattainable and belongs to another, the Lord of Demons, and one is left to wonder, does Hotspur only want her because he can't have her, because she is impossible, and therefore he has no obligation to fulfill her in any way which is impossible for him either because he is gay or is lost in his own cage of penises.

All in all it is an interesting view of men. Garcia is the very picture of masculinity, handsome, powerful, sexual, well-muscled, very tattoo'd; he seems to be the cypher of all men. He is governed and confused by his penis. He is unable to see past it or even recognize it's power of him. He is pushed onward by his desire which he labels purpose (to save the girl, defeat demons, be good), but is all of his own making, it is all his perception as mutated by his desire. He can not even see it to question it. He can never find resolution, because his desire might slacken but never be sated, so more demons, different demons are created to give him purpose, but all of it is just a paper world masking the emptiness and chaos of his own existence. The only way he can make sense of the world and give it meaning is through his desire, which even he does not understand.

Is this what we are, puppets of desire, directionless, pointless, using our need, the one thing we can feel to rationalize purpose? Are we as flat as Garcia Hotspur? Hmmm. What do you think?